Obese man says it’s been years since he’s been taken out to lunch

Doug Campton, a native of Chester County, Tennessee, says he has not received an offer to be taken out for a meal in quote, “quite some time.” Mr. Campton blames this lack of food related invitations on multiple areas of his plushy body, however stating the problem mainly stems from his overly predominant “stomachal” region. “When people see that gut tumbling over my belt, which I’ve been told by a certain overly proud, flat-chested co-worker, takes on qualities not unlike some kind of fleshy waterfall, they tend to fear the lunch bill that would probably be just as large as my upper thighs.” Mr. Campton also stated that he was asked out to lunch a couple years back while his stomach was squashed up against his desk and as Doug puts it, “not really in plain sight”. “When my 300 lb. self lumbered into the restaurant, the man who asked me out almost fainted in shock. Then when the waiter came to ask for our order, a little after the man’s emotions had turned from shock to anger at my apparent deceit, he told the waiter that he would not be eating tonight as his guest would be doing enough eating for the two of us, then adding, and probably for a couple more guests too.” Mr. Campton says he looks forward to the day he is asked out again, but is reluctant to get his hopes up. “I just feel like something is significantly weighing down my chances.”